well. things only lasted a day lol, but that's ok. he doesn't really matter anymore. but lately i've been wondering where you draw the line in trusting people. and why people[me included] always focus on being hurt, and not actually hurting others? today was terrible it was like i was infectious or something. like i was ruining everybody's day. i kept saying and doing things that i didn't really mean. but another thing is i just realized that my best friend doesn't listen to me. i listen to her go on and on and on about everything, and then the one thing that has made my childhood slightly un-normal, she can't even remember. she doesn't realize she's not the only person to be hurt. she doesn't see how one thing leads me to think about another and then my mind is all on that bad thing. i don't really understand this. she's like the most selfless person i know, but maybe not. maybe there's more to her, and i just don't wanna see it. maybe i just didn't want to be hurt again. but if there's one thing i've learned its that you canNOT avoid pain. to simply state edgar allen poe, pain is life. it's this big lesson, the problem is i don't feel like learning it. i don't want to figure out that i've made the same mistake twice by getting too close to a person, yet again. and i don't know who to listen to. my sister, my parents, my teachers, my friends, they all tell me different stuff. so what do i do? i just don't wanna be mean anymore. i'm sick of it.